Got Faith?

You know how some people say "I was just lucky I guess" or "I was in the right place at the right time" or "it was just fate" or "the gods were with me"?  I don't believe in any of that.  I believe everything happens for a reason.  I believe God has His hand in everything that occurs, even if it is you choosing your own will over God's plan…He is all over it.  Sometimes He tells you something through scripture, or through a friend, a pastor, or sometimes he speaks to you in you head or your heart.  You don't really know how he's going to get a message to you.  But you need to be open to anything.

I have been pondering or should I say paralyzed in the thought of a new job.  I applied because someone told me I needed to…sort of on a whim.  I had been recently updating my resume of which I hadn't even remembered I had created until I found it in my computer.  So I emailed it off.  I didn't really even expect to get an interview.  I presumed lots of qualified folks would apply and I'd be weeded out.  Well, low and behold they called me for an interview.  Not really even knowing what the job entailed, I interviewed.  The findings were that it's a BIG job, some clean up work, supervision over 11 employees, personnel issues, community work, being "on-call".  But most of all they needed a year or more commitment.  I was not at all sure I wanted to give them that.  Well, I was pretty sure I didn't.  They called me back for the second interview.  She expressed that I had done phenomenal in the first interview that the board members were very impressed with me.  However, even though that was very flattering, I told her…"I can't commit to that amount of time, but thanks"…in much nicer words.  It just seemed too big and too overwhelming to me and perhaps I lacked the confidence even though I had several tell me "you can do this job".  And another reason, fear of the unknown.  It can be paralyzing.  I know.  I lived like that for years.  Then I got a call from one of the board members asking me to reconsider the job.  Wow, now what?  I talked to friends and family again, they encouraged me to do it.  Financially and career wise, it is a fabulous opportunity.  Yes, there would be some negatives and some stress, but look at the positives and how it would affect my retirement and my career opportunities in the future.  No, I would not be moving anytime soon to south Texas closer to my grandson, however, he's still young and hopefully there is lots of time for that.  Especially if I am more financially stable.  Well, so I prayed, then fretted all night, didn't sleep, prayed more, fretted more, was sick at my stomach, finally got up at 5:00a.m.  "Please God send a "word".  What do I do"?  I have never been good at making decisions, especially big ones.  Never.  It's a fault.  This morning early I called a friend and asked her to pray for me.  She did.  I read this scripture which is one I love, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you" (John 14:27).  I felt better.  I made the call to a the board member who I had told no to and asked to have my name put back in the hat.  She wavered a bit, but said she would call me this afternoon.  The board was meeting at noon.  Then the gal who asked me to reconsider finally called.  She said I was the executive committee's first choice.  She said she knew I could do this job.  She was extremely encouraging.   She was headed to the meeting to tell them she wanted me back in.  I agreed.  I was still feeling a bit sick, but better.  Oh my, this is huge.  Then I read something else that seemed to be "the word" I had been seeking.  It's about not just waiting on things to happen to you, but making choices about your future.  It was about believing the best begets the best. 

The following is what I read…

"So many people are waiting for that perfect moment, but that right moment never shows up. We have to create that moment. Our destiny isn't about fate, it's about a choice."

And the other…

"Success is built on an attitude that being challenged in life is inevitable; being defeated is optional.  I think it's about perception and perspective.  If you give yourself the freedom to know that anything is possible, and you keep having faith, belief, and perseverance despite the odds, you will eventually arrive at the top of the mountain."

So regardless of what happens now, I have made a choice; a choice to get back in the race and believe and have faith and trust that God has me right where He wants me; that He will open doors if I will watch for them and He will answer me if I listen.  While I still have some anxiety about this, I will keep praying.

"God hold me in the palm of your hand.  That is where I feel the safest". 


Encourage One Another

Flash From the Past

"I believe I am passionate about 4 things, faith, family and friends.  I grew up in a very close family who had strong spiritual values.  I have carried these with me throughout my life, though sometimes being more committed to them than others.  When things have been difficulty for me however, my faith, family and friends are the things that have carried me through them.  My family and I remain very close and they have been and always will be an important part of my life.  I also believe that life is much better with friends in it; friends you can laugh with, share with, cry with, pray with and play with.  They do not need to be friends with all the answers, just friends with great listening ears. 

I am also a good friend and listener, and try very hard not to give advise.  If you and I become friends, you can count on me to be dependable and trustworthy.  I hope you will be also!"

I found this statement in some old emails I was going through.  Initially I had no idea who I had written it to.  After thinking about it a while, I think it is a statement I put on some dating site, some information about myself.  I find it odd that I put "4" things I was passionate about and only then listed 3.  The other thing I'm passionate about (as there really are four) is horses.  You probably read about that in a previous blog.  Since I wrote this sometime in them middle of 2007, I have lost my father, a huge piece of my family.  However, I have gained a grandson.  I believe my faith remains strong, although there is always room for growth there and I hope it grows in abundance.  Overall, the statement remains true.  I believe I am a good friend and I still cherish the most important things in my life.


Encourage One Another

Horse of Another Color

What I saw between the ears of the red horse was totally different.  It was what I remember from years and years of riding. It was truly a ride of "going home".  There have been a couple of times that I have been able to "go back" and ride at the ranch.  This weekend was different.  The weather could not have been more perfect…sun shining, 53 degrees, light wind.  My favorite riding attire was perfect, riding tights, long sleeve shirt, a vest and my seriously old 4X Resistol hat.  "Solo" was calmer this time.  He saddled easily and did not swish his tail as he has in the past.  I circled him in the round pen a couple of times just to be sure but I could tell he didn't need it.  We headed out, with Claire, the cow dog, in tow, but she eventually headed back.  Though she loves me and wants to go, she is crippled and just can't get around like she use too.  She could tell we were headed for along ride.  We rode down through the creek where his feet are much more tender than many horses.  When you get him on gravel he tiptoes, and all he can think about is his feet.  I try to avoid that but it is good information to have about a horse.  Should he try to act up, get him on gravel and thinking about his feet.  He's very alert and has his ears pricked forward at all times.  He still walks with emotion and intent, however, he did not trot or prance or try to get ahead of himself.  He is somewhat impatient and in a hurry to get back to his friends, but he would tolerate my stopping, listening, looking and watching.  As we rode past the big oak where several well loved dogs are buried, memories flood my mind.  I linger for a minute, send blessings to heaven and move on.  Solo quietly allows me to open the gate this time, willing to move his body to my feet.  "Good boy".  From between the ears of the red horse the scenery is different.  My usual ride, between gray ears, includes dirt fields and cotton patches.  I can see miles at a time, nothing blocks my view.  This time I riding off into the brush, the forest some might call it.  This time I'm seeing flocks of ducks fly off the pond.  They've stopped here while flying one direction or the other for winter.  Solo doesn't flinch.  Off we go stepping through water in another creek which he takes like an old horse.  He has had some issues with that in the past.  It's quiet in the brush, the thick trees.  You can hear the rustle of the leaves and the sounds of the birds.  We stop to listen.  I love that quiet.  There is just nothing like it.  Off in the not to distant trees I see three doe.  They stop, look, then run like crazy.  You can hear the twigs popping and the brush rustling as off they go.  Seeing wildlife while horseback makes me feel a part of nature.  You are in their home.  Most everything is gray or brown.  However, since the rain, there are green sprigs of rye and winter grass peeping out of the ground.  The animals love that.  As we ride up to the next pond I see a buck on the other side.  He stands very still for a moment, but as we ride into the clearing he too races off into the denseness of the trees.  I can't really say how large an area we ride.  I usually chalk my riding time up in minutes.  This ride takes about 1 ½ or 2 hours.  As fast as Solo walks, we make it around quicker.  On this ride I don't see any cattle.  I'm covering quite a bit of country so I don't really know why.  The next thing we ride up on however are some hogs.  Solo has never seen any hogs that I know of.  Most horses will smell them first.  That ought to tell you they don't smell very good.  These hogs were off in a creek turning up dirt looking for insects and grubs and whatever they can find.  They love must; you must know that already!  Hogs generally run off as fast as a hog can and these hogs were no different. They don't usually stop and look they just go. These were pale brown in color, not black, which is a little unusual.  Solo was a little startled, but then just stood and watched.  "Good boy".  Since this horse is on virtually all new territory (he is new to the ranch) he's not really sure when he is on the way home or not.  So his pace is just always quick, hoping that the barn is just around the next corner.  From where these hogs were, we were over halfway home.  On the way back to the house I heard hawks calling and saw them soaring in the blue sky.  They are looking for something to eat.  Soaring hawks are a favorite site of mine.  We have a couple more "stop and stand still" lessons as we stroll back to the barn.  We traverse down some hills, through another creek, back through another gate.  He does fine.  "Good boy".  Unsaddling him he is quiet.  Once I get him back in the barn though he begins to knicker deep.  He has a very low voice.  He's hollering this time…"feed me".  So I do.  I give him and his buddy some grain and a whole bale of hay.  They are good at "chowing down".  So until tomorrow old friend…see you then. 


Encourage One Another

It's About the Horse

I don't remember the first time I ever rode a horse.  You'd think something so important would be etched in my mind.  I guess then I didn't know what a big part horses would play in my life, their essentialness to my sense of me, to the meaning of who I am, the connectedness I feel to them, the envy I have for their beauty, their gentleness, and their freedom.  But I know it now.  When I tried to explain it to my husband, he didn't understand.  I think you have to have "it" to understand "it". This writing is about me and my horses and the parts they played in my life, and the need I have to get it down and try to understand it myself.  You are a witness to this undertaking. The last time I wrote anything about my horses was the following.  I think I wrote it after I got Smash, some 16 years ago, but the feelings are pretty much the same about all of them.  It begins like this: In the quiet of the barn, the sweet smell of hay lingers; his muzzle finds it's way to my face; his nostrils breath warm air on my cheeks and the sticky whiskers around his nose prick as he nudges me to pay attention.  He lowers his head for me to rub behind his ears and over his eye, his favorite parts.  He stands quiet as I brush his coat and rub him in all the right places.  I can feel his muscles as my hand floats over his body.  I have memorized his curves and know when something doesn't feel just right.  Just to feel and touch his body sends power and strength into mine.  Energy runs through my fingers, up my arms and into my soul.  What he has, freedom and grace, he gives to me.  We are one, he and I.  Our bond is strong, lasting, committed.  He is mine and I am his.  We are bound for life by a love only a woman can know and a horse can feel.  Through him I find peace within me.  Through him I can find something I do right, that I can feel good about myself.  No words are exchanged that can be misunderstood or hurtful.  The physical part of taking care of him makes me feel strong and young, and that I can do some things that even younger women can't do, that I am capable.  I feel good when I am with him.  My horses have always been food for my soul and my survival.  They complete me. Encourage one another

To Live a Quiet Life

I love this scripture I saw on a blog recently.  The blog belongs to Donna Boucher.  It's called "Quiet Life". I think I might want to add this scripture to my blog.  That won't be stealing will it? 

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands...." 1 Thessalonians 4:11

I believe that is the way I would like to live.

I also love Donna's sign off, "encourage one another".  I looked up that scripture myself.  There are actually two (at least) of them. 

  2 Corinthians 13:11
Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.
1 Thessalonians 4:18
Therefore encourage one another with these words.

What if everyday you encouraged someone, at least one person, by something you did or something you said?  What if everyday someone encouraged you by something they did or something they said?  Do you believe that would make a difference?  I do.  I really do.  Some days we find are harder than others.  Just the muddling through some days, when nothing special is going on, can be hard.  Then there are the hard days.  Webster's gives the following words as descriptions of encouragement:  to inspire, give hope, spur on, give support, cheer on, hearten, boost, urge, motivate.  How might it feel for someone to fill your heart with words such as these each day?  How would it feel to someone else?  Maybe we should make this a practice.  Start small,  encourage someone, one person, once a day.  Then encourage one more.  Even a smile will make a difference.  I say let's try it and see what happens. So until then...

Encourage one another

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life and attend to your own business and work with your hands...." 1 Thessalonians 4:11

"It's in the Smallest Details"

For about 14 years now I have intermittently read Sarah Ban Breathnach's book "Simple Abundance".  It's a daily reading book that you read each day of the year.   In all the years I'm sure I have read each page numerous times, although maybe not all in the same year.  This year is no different.  I have started it again.  Early in the book she talks about gratitude.  She made this statement this week… "it is in the smallest details that the flavor of life is savored".  She's referring to the simple stuff in life that we just don't take the time so often to see.  I'm included in inconsistently looking for the small details, except for one thing, butterflies.  The smallest details I most often notice are butterflies.  The reason?  My mother LOVED butterflies.  If you knew my mother, you knew that about her.  My mother passed away in 2003.  She had painted a beautiful water color purple-blue butterfly that we took to the printer and had copies made into thank you cards.  Everyone who remembered our mother with a thought, a gift, a plant or a memorial got a copy of that butterfly she painted.  Mine is framed.  Every, and truthfully, every time I see a butterfly, I think of her.  I saw one Monday, two actually.  They were very small and white.  No idea what kind they were.  I thought to myself and always say (sometimes out loud)… "hi mom" when I see one.  I also thought, "what is that little butterfly doing in the middle of a stripped cotton field in the middle of January?"  No idea…but thoughts of my mother are always a blessing to me.  One of my most memorable memories of seeing one was shortly after my mom died.  Within the first year, my sister and I went with my dad to see a grief counselor.  He was already begun dating Betty only a few months after mom died.  He was talking about marrying her.  My sister and I did not think enough time had gone by for him to remarry…in "our" opinion.  We knew he wanted to alleviate his pain and not be alone.  He couldn't stand to be sad.  Anyway, sitting in the office of this counselor she had a big window wall, in fact one wall was just a window looking into a small flower garden outside her office. In that garden that day sitting there with our dad, talking about our mom, my sister and I both saw a beautiful butterfly fluttering around the plants.  We just looked at each other and sort of raised our eyebrows in disbelief.  We definitely talked about it later.  I don't remember if my dad saw it or not.  My sister and I felt our mom was there in this discussion and that she was ok with whatever happened.  It gave us comfort in way we did not have.  The sight of that beautiful butterfly was a blessing to us.  It was truly a lesson that if you look around for the small things, the details, you will find many blessings in our life. 


Encourage One Another

From Fleece to Sleeveless, Only in Texas

Ok, really.  The weather?  Who can tell from moment to moment, day to day what the weather will actually be like in Texas.  And from one forecaster to another, there is just nothing that reflects the same information.  This morning when I got up it was 30 degrees.  It warmed up but who thought it would warm up so quickly.  I wore a fleece shirt and fleece tights to ride.  I took along a fleece vest since it was suppose to be windy.  By the time I caught my guy, brushed him down and was ready to saddle. I thought "I gotta change clothes...I'm gonna burn up here".  So tied him up well and headed to the house.  I put on a "sleeveless" shirt and sunscreen!  Who would'a ever thought it possible.  I rode for hours that way.  No long sleeves, no vest needed.  Last time I saw a thermometer it said 74 degrees.   Really?  In Texas?  In the dead of winter?  In January?  OK, I give up.  I just want to be comfortable.  I wore one of my brand new Eddie Bauer cotton Ts that is just fabulous.  Stretchy, soft, flexible and hot pink.  My second hot pink shirt of the season.  It might just be my new color!  So besides all the clothes changing, it was another fabulous day to ride, albeit a bit windy.  Two hours and a floppy hat in my face later we were headed to the house.  Love it.  Four days in a row of riding.  God is truly good!  Gotta love that west Texas weather...one more day.

Encourage One Another